


Nine Professors

by UnapologeticallyMeatwad



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Background Dorothea/Petra, Black Eagles Students as Family (Fire Emblem), Edeleth but it's not really the focus, Edelgard von Hresvelg is Not Subtle, Gen, Headcanon, Jeralt Reus Reisner is a Troublemaker, Non-Binary Byleth, Teasing, also one really forced reference to paul rudd eating hot wings lol, background catherine/shamir - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27802654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnapologeticallyMeatwad/pseuds/UnapologeticallyMeatwad
Summary: There are nine professors who teach the Black Eagles Class: Byleth, Edelgard, Hubert, Ferdinand, Dorothea, Petra, Caspar, Linhardt, and Bernadetta.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	Nine Professors

**Author's Note:**

> This is my headcanon because IMO it makes no sense that Byleth could possibly be a good Professor of so many subjects lol

Byleth grimaces at their Eagles; it shouldn’t be like this. They’ve won so many battles as a class, and Byleth has taught so many wonderful lessons but it’s still always so  _ tense _ . Especially in the moments before a lecture.

One day, Byleth will get vengeance on their Dad for this because this is such a long con. Like, Byleth is not a teacher! Everytime they get drinks with Dad, he laughs his ass off like it’s funny! It’s not, and it’s  _ astounding _ someone as austere and wise as Lady Rhea doesn’t notice how bad of a fit this is for Byleth.

They just don’t know enough. They can teach swords, gauntlets, and faith magic. They can definitely talk strategy, but everything else? Why would they fucking know? Axes? Nope, not Byleth’s bag.

Maybe today is bad because Byleth promised a lesson on Reason magic after Edelgard practically begged them to, and Byleth can’t just say no to Edelgard. 

So now they stand, snapping their fingers together to call Fire. They spent all night practicing this and finally nailed it at 4AM. Now they stand with pink rimmed eyes and a book in hand, because the book makes them look smarter. “This—”  _ Fwoosh. _ “—is Fire.”

Edelgard bows her head and furiously takes notes. 

“Uh,” Linhardt gulps from the backseat. 

“What’s up?” Byleth asks.

Linhardt looks perplexed, like he’s holding in vomit and doesn’t know what to do with it. “Are you… sure? Because that’s a huge waste of energy, what you just did.”

“Huh?” Byleth looks around the room, scanning for a read on this. “The snapping?”

“No, Professor, the mental piece.” Byleth has no idea how Linhardt can tell that they do that, that they spend so much energy in a little flame. “It’s supposed to be easy, um, Dorothea, can you back me up?”

“Yeah,” Dorothea sighs, a little disappointed. “I’m surprised you still cast like that, no offense.”

“Agreed,” Hubert slips in.

Byleth could play the long con harder and argue their way out of this, or they could just be honest. They motion for everyone to get closer to the table up front—currently only occupied by Edelgard—and pulls up a chair. “Guys, I gotta get something off my chest.”

They all huddle in closely, and speak in whispers.

“I’m not a real Professor,” Byleth rasps. “My dad suggested it as a practical joke I think and Rhea is just paying me ass tons of gold now and I can’t say no. I’m… sorry though, I seriously can’t offer you the education you all need. I’m just making shit up.”

Caspar, remarkably, seems the most affected by this. “Wh-wh-what about that ax technique you taught me?!”

“Uh, the scream I taught you is legit, the ax thing?” Byleth bites their lip.

“I actually sprained my wrist trying it,” Edelgard frowns. “I felt bad bringing it up, my teacher…”

Byleth feels  _ really  _ horrible now. This can’t continue, they must resign. Without a word, they get up, only to get dragged back down by Edelgard who stares at Byleth so hard it’s shocking. 

(Then again, it shouldn’t surprise Byleth that Edelgard is intense; girl is definitely planning to wage war on the Church after school is done. Kinda awk she hasn’t formally explained that to Byleth but whatever. It’s chill.)

“You will do no such thing,” Edelgard says. “You’ve still done amazing work, uh, you—you taught me Faith magic, remember?”

“I do,” Byleth admits weakly. “But everything else—”

“Good Goddess, I have to do everything myself I guess,” Linhardt mutters and leaps up from his chair, going to the front of the room. “No one cares about your melodrama, Professor, I show up for class one time and—” 

He snaps his fingers so sharply and fire comes out. “—just like that, easy. Let’s break into pairs, Hubert and Dorothea, pair up with someone who’s not a mage, please.”

Byleth watches Linhardt strut off and start practicing a basic fire spell with Petra. They're not sure how to feel about a student taking charge like that. 

Edelgard, being the closest to Byleth, blushes faintly. “I guess we’re paired together, huh?”

Byleth grits their teeth behind their lips, they really do like Edelgard, but they wish she would just come out and confess already. Edelgard has to take the lead because the power imbalance makes it icky.

“Yo guys!” Caspar runs up, throwing both hands on their shoulders. “There’s an odd number of us, who woulda thought?”

“Oh goody,” Edelgard sighs. “Well, let’s focus up then—I really do want to get my reason magic just right.”

* * *

It’s quite the lesson; Dorothea even learns a new spell! She accidentally conjures a far reaching Thoron spell that scares the shit out of Bernadetta. But it makes Byleth so happy to watch Dorothea blink at her own work in amazement. 

_ This  _ is teaching, and it’s coming from collaboration. 

When the day is done, Byleth has Hubert, Dorothea, and Linhardt stay behind. Edelgard, being very nosey, elects to stay with them as well.

(Meaning Ferdinand also stays behind because he needs to outdo Edelgard somehow today.)

“So that went really well, I think,” Byleth says softly. “I’m grateful for your help and I was wondering… if you three would be interested in teaching Reason instead of me, throughout the year. You could rotate and—”

“Is that really what your students should be doing?” Hubert says wryly.

Byleth locks eyes with them. Hubert is always going around threatening to kill people, but they saw how he drank his coffee the other day, how peaceful and unguarded he was. He plays an asshole, he's not actually a jerk. He's mean because it's funny. “I’m your student when it’s Reason class.”

His scowl crawls into a smirk. “Good answer, Byleth.”

“You know,” Edelgard pipes in. “I think it would be a benefit to ourselves and you if we did this with anything you are not a specialist in. For instance, I know axes aren’t exactly for you, I could lead our classes on axes if you’d like—”

“Nonsense!” Ferdinand squawks, storming onto the scene. “If anyone is it to teach axes, it is I for I am superior in my axemanship to—”

“Oh really?” Edelgard clicks her tongue. “You think  _ Focused Strike _ makes you superior? Interesting.”

“It—it comes in handy!”

“You will both teach axes,” Byleth interrupts. “We will learn ax techniques and you two will learn how to work with people you greatly dislike. Boom, easy.”

* * *

The new teaching structure works so well for everyone. Grades start soaring and even the studious Blue Lions are getting a little afraid of the ragtag Black Eagles.

Jeralt laughs, pounding the table before pointing a greasy finger at Byleth. “You’re telling me you put up all those royal brats into doing your job for you?”

“Basically,” Byleth says between mouthfuls of spicy ass chicken.

“Damn, kid. That’s brilliant.”

“I’m learning a lot too,” Byleth says, somewhat sheepishly. “When we get out of here at year’s end, I’ll be your swiss army knife on the battlefield.”

Jeralt smiles softly. “You talk so much now, Hell, you’re smiling right now. It’s good to see. I joke about the brats but uh, you like it here?”

“Not really,” Byleth slouches back. “But I like my friends.”

_ My friends _ . Not their students. It feels so warm to think of them that way. “My best friends,” they add on. “But I don’t like the Church, so…”

“Same, kid, same,” Jeralt bites into his wing, sneaking a glance at Byleth once he finishes his question. “You planning on keeping in contact with them?”

Byleth imagines a life without their classmates and shudders. It’s no good. Especially without Edelgard. They need to stay friends when this is over, somehow. 

“Yes,” is all Byleth says. “Enough about me, how about you?”

“Oh Goddess, Byleth,” Jeralt shakes his head wistfully. “I just don’t give a shit. Catherine keeps needling me for being so passionless, but eh, Shamir’s on my side. Seiros is stupid. She, uh, likes teasing Catherine anyways, so really Shamir’s vouching for me constantly so she can keep gathering fodder for Catherine and then there’s Alois, oh geez, Alois, kid, you wouldn’t believe—”

Byleth tears a chunk of meat off of a wing when they finally stop laughing at Jeralt’s storytelling. They hold up their hand. 

“Look at us, hey—” they lean in. “Look at us.”

Jeralt leans back, appreciating the moment too. “Who woulda thought?” 

“Not me!”

* * *

The Battle of the Eagle and the Lion is so intimidating, at least at first. Byleth figures after some strategizing that it’s mostly nerves getting to them, because the Black Eagles barely scraped by in the first mock battle. It took the entire class to defeat Dimitri who cleaved through the battlefield, stopping at nothing. 

Byleth found part of it was because of their own poor leadership. 

Now that Byleth only teaches swordplay, gauntlets (Caspar calls it Punchy Punchy class), and leadership skills, they have found they have improved at strategizing themselves and it makes them so happy to see the shocked faces of the Golden Deer and Blue Lions as the Black Eagles absolutely decimate them on the battlefield.

There is one particular moment that stands out to Byleth though. It’s when they are squaring mano a mano off with Dedue, when Dimitri comes in out of nowhere to go for the ‘kill.’ 

That’s when Edelgard comes in. She begins by blocking his lance with her ax, thrusting him off her, an impressive feat and a testament to her growth under the past few moons. 

But Dimitri is relentless. He hits hard and pushes her back. She leans into her back foot, face caked in sweat. She smirks, eyes darkening. “You know, Dimitri, if the Empire and the Kingdom were to go to war, we’ll be able to fight as much as we please!”

There it is — this dark proclamation of the war Edelgard is 100% planning on mounting. Byleth would facepalm if it wouldn’t cause them to get decked by Dedue.

“I am very sorry, that is not something to joke about,” Dimitri grimaces. “The thought of fighting you is troubling at best!”

Edelgard smiles coyly. “Really? Awww… in that case, I wonder, can you stomach fighting me right now? Do you need a moment?”

Dimitri roars and charges her, foolheartedly falling into Edelgard’s trap, though Byleth has _ no  _ idea what she is even planning. He stabs at her, in and out, and she swiftly dodges the blows just as Petra taught her to do. Then Edelgard swoops in and cries it out. “FOCUS STRIKE!” And her ax catches Dimitri’s lance in one of its curves, and launches it high into the air.

Within seconds, she has her ax to his throat, and that’s game. Dimitri gives Edelgard a smile and bows politely, “I fear I cannot fight any longer. I’m sorry everyone, please continue—” He winces as his lance slams into the earth besides him. “—onward to victory. Ugh.” 

He storms off just as Byleth bests Dedue. They look to Edelgard and elbow her gently in the side. “You’re using Ferdinand’s technique?”

She blushes. “Yes, but don’t tell him.”

* * *

They win with zero losses to their roster. They perform so well that Lady Rhea gifts their class with a Lance she personally blessed. (Whatever. Byleth would have appreciated, like, money, or something. Like a Lance? Cool. They can, like, mount it on a wall or something.)

“I thought I was done for!” Bernadetta cries out, having manned the centerfield ballista the whole time, and looks to Petra. “Professor, if you hadn’t taught me how to dodge so swiftly, I’d have been done for.”

Petra smiles and nods. “Thank you, Professor. I feeling the same for you, you taught me the Deadeye technique which is how I was abling to take out Khalid.”

“Aw yeah!” Caspar punches at the air. “Remember when I dropped down into that ring of archers protecting him? Yo, what did I tell them, Professor?”

Linhardt rolls his eyes. “You said _ Hope you newbs know to fire arrows in close combat because you’re about to get punched raaaargh _ . It could’ve been more clever, Professor.”

“That’s Professor Professor son to you, uh, Professor!” Caspar cries out.

Byleth keeps trying to tell Caspar that like, you can’t just force Professor Professorson into being a thing. Nicknames need to come about organically.

Edelgard sneaks a glance to Byleth. “I am starting to understand that I should stop calling you Professor so much, my teach—ha, look at me, doing it again.”

For the first time since the day Byleth met Edelgard and the two other House Leaders, they feel like they’re on the same level. Just two students struggling to get through it all. Which makes Byleth happy, because boy do they have _ a lot _ to figure out. Like this thing with Edelgard.

Byleth pats them on the shoulder. “Just call me Byleth. We’re friends, Edelgard.”

“Wooooow,” Caspar shouts. “You Professors aren’t even calling yourself, Professor. Have some pride, Professors.”

Ferdinand crosses his arms. “Edelgard does that because she knows I am Professorlier than her.”

“No, I do not—”

“Ah,” Byleth nudges Edelgard again. “No, she does because she totally has a crush on me.”

Edelgard’s face goes so red. “ _ Professor _ ?!”

Byleth takes her hand. “Don’t worry, I do too, Professor.”

“Wait, I spaced out,” Dorothea looks around rapidly. “Which Professor does Byleth like?”

“The red one,” Byleth grins, finger curling around Edelgard’s.

“Oh that’s boring,” Dorothea clicks her tongue and walks away. “Come on, Professor.”

Petra turns and follows along with Dorothea, because everyone knows — when Dorothea calls for a Professor in a social setting, she means Petra. Because they too, are also boring.

Byleth laughs and takes Edelgard by the arm, and she _squeaks_ in return. They walk off.

"Am I really so transparent?" Edelgard asks.

Byleth smiles coyly. "If you're asking me if I have also figured out that you are going to wage war on the Church once you become Emperor—"

Edelgard goes red once again. "Okay, point made."


End file.
